Whether or not others understood her reasons, Kaeli had chosen not to accept Ayguili's offer of a temporary reprieve from the chain. It wasn't that she hadn't appreciated the offer being extended - she had. She had wanted to go, but it wasn't her that had set the punishment - it was him, and the only way she could accept release was to have him say it was over. In giving her the choice to go the the ceremony, then return and put the chain back on, he had invoked the one thing Kaeli believed should always be honored. A promise. In accepting his offer, she would be promising that she would return and replace the chain. She wasn't sure she was up to voluntarily giving up her freedom after even a brief time, and if she didn't think she could do it..she would not make a promise that bound her to it. If she could not promise him that she would willingly return and have the chains put back on, and if she had accepted his offer, she would have had to. She had never made a promise unless she was sure she could keep it, and she had never broken one, once she had made it. She was well aware of her own strengths and weaknesses, and it was because of this that she had chosen to remain where she was.
All in all she had accepted the punishment with as much good nature as she was able to muster. She kept busy, mending clothes, finishing the pictures of herbs she had been making, and even helping the slaves who spent their day at the cooking fires. She really didn't mind, and it gave her time to think of things other than the chain and her missing mate.
She didn't want to have to think on how long Jai had been gone, but she did. He'd been away for over 5 hands. Longer than she'd ever known him to be gone. This worried her a great deal, but she kept it to herself, and didn't say anything about it to the ubar. When he asked how she was holding up, she told him what she thought he wanted to hear and left it at that. She voiced her fears to no one, not even those she considered close to her. She found her strength in Tarra and Cana who like herself had lost mates, and she found that inner strenth that seemed to come to her when life gave her a burden she didn't think she could carry. She had told her daughter not to worry, that Jai would return, but saying the words did little to convince herself that it was true. She went through the motions of day to day with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, and tried to keep up the appearance of the Kaeli most of them knew. She was thankful that her two youngest children were old enough to wean, and she transitioned them from milk to food as her own appetite failed and she feared they were not getting enough to sustain them. She played with them throughout the day, keeping any sign of worry from them so that they would not sense any distress. She continued to take in baskets of mending to keep her hands busy, and any other chores that could be done to keep her mind busy. Occasionally she wondered how long she would continue to be chained should Jai not show up, but this thought she pushed to the back of her mind as being one selfish in nature and not one she needed to be thinking about. She didn't like to think of him not returning. That was simply not going to happen. He was her sky and if his light faded, so would her own. She waited patiently, and when she couldn't sleep she watched the main trail that led into the camp, as though by watching and wishing, she could make him appear.....