His was a brief visit..barely enough time to warm their furs and re-acquaint themselves to each others bodies before he stood and donned clean leathers, took up his gear and slipped out through the flaps of their wagon. So quickly had the time passed that she had to wonder if she had perhaps dreamed of his homecoming in her sleep instead of being a part of the moment as it happened. This time she didn't even have the confirmation from her children to prove to her mind that he had indeed been there..they had been long asleep when he arrived late in the night and neither saw reason to wake them. She looked around the wagon and eventually found the proof she needed..his old leathers heaped into a basket by the flaps..ready to be taken to the stream and laundered. They were not there the previous night..she would not have tolerated soiled clothes to remain in the wagon. It was not her way. Kicking the furs away, she slips off the sleeping platform and settles on the bench next to a table holding her brush, a mirror and the various tidbits that she normally chose to wear woven into her braid each day. As she began the daily ritual of brushing through her hair, her thoughts set the order of her day. Tribe members she needed to see, medicinals she needed to make, household chores that needed her immediate attention..time set aside to spend with her children. Her children...THEIR children. Since the devasting fire, everytime she thought of the twins there came to her a quickening of heartbeat and a lump in her throat. If she had ever taken them for granted since their birth, it had stopped after the fire. That night woken from her dreams by shouting and the thick choking smoke that had enveloped their sleeping space, she had jumped from the wagon and climbed into that where her children slept with reshaka. Shouting now herself, she had snatched up a twin in each arm and ordered reshaka to grab what she could and follow..HARTA GIRL HARTA. No time to pick and choose, no time to dawdle..She had almost stumbled when she stepped from the wagon and tried to carry them both down the steps, but the skies must have been on her side and neither was dropped. She knew that reshaka was quite capable of helping carry the children to safety, but they were her children, her responsibility, and she was not about to trust their lives to anyone else. If any of them were going to die, they would all die together. With a firm hold on each, they had all made it to the stream. She had hesitated to leave them even then, but knew her duty as a healer left her little alternative..she had to leave her babes with reshaka while she went back to the camp to help others. Even the next morning in the aftermath of the fire, she was hesitant to leave her children even though she knew that the danger was passed. But responsibility for her people had to take priority and she had done her duty despite urges to constantly run back to check on them. Now, since that horrible night, she had made it a point to set time aside just for them. With their father gone most of the time, they needed her. Not just at night to bathe them, feed them and put them to bed after a story or two. They needed HER. With Jai absent, they demanded her attention and she gave it to them freely. And in return, they became her helpers when chores needed doing. When the drummers announced it was time to prepare wagons to move, Kus was there to help her grease the axels while Sheku held the bucket. When she pulled out the harnesses to oil, they all sat at the fire while she showed them how to do it. They were very young yet, and their work had to be checked over later after they had gone to their furs, but to Kaeli, it was the fact that they did these things together that mattered. This newfound togetherness took on a humorous turn at times such as when she made the evening meal that their own familial fires. Things ended up in their stew pot that definitly didn't need to be there, but she kept it to herself and ate the meal they had "helped" prepare with all the pride a mother could possess. When one morning they came to her wagon to show her Sheku's new dress that Kus had helped design, she had to turn away to hide the laughter that threatened to spill out and keep a straight face as she complimented them on their efforts at making such a fine piece of clothing.
Lately she had found a part of herself that she never knew she possessed. The ability to set aside her own need for order, and allow them to take hold of the moment and make it what they wanted. Baths at the stream became mud fights, with no clear victor between either child or mother. Meals had metamorphed into storytelling competitions complete with each acting out a part..Kus fighting giant kurs with his blunted, wooden lance, and Sheku becoming the damsel in distress that he fought to free. Sheku "healing" his wounds by wrapping him in so many bandages it took her an ahn to remove them. It was the simple things in life that became most important. Sometimes these moments with her children left her feeling a deep sadness..tears threatened to flow and the lump in her throat was so big, she felt choked by its presence. But like all the other times emotions threatened to spill out, she contained them..folding them into tiny pieces, pushing them to the far reaches of her conscious, a place that was quickly becoming a dumping ground for all the sadness, loneliness and resentment that built up with the absence of her mate...an absence that was never ending. When these emotions came too close to the surface, when they threatened her need to keep a stoic face for others to see, she took to riding late at night..sometimes staying out till Lar Torvis began to rise. Following no specific path or set destination she just rode. It was on one of these rides that Yem presented himself and became her shadow. Whether or not Jai had commssioned him to be so, she could not say. He was there and made no admissions one way or another. If she took to the saddle it was a safe bet he would be following. At first, she was not pleased with this new twist, and she made every effort to evade the old warrior..a game she had been practicing for many passings since she was an Ubara. While she had always been very good at this in the past, this warrior seemed to be able to see one step ahead and no matter what tactic she employed, just when she thought she had succeeded, he would be there..sometimes waiting, other times taking up a spot behind her own beast. After a while, she conceeded her defeat and theirs was an amicable friendship..he was like an old uncle she had never had and she became accepting of his presence.Once the meal was finished, children bathed and abed, she would go to the pens to find the grey saddled and ready. All she had to do to find the culprit was look to the shadows and he would be there, already settled on his beast, waiting. Was she that predictable? Had she become so set in her ways that others could set their time by what she was doing? Maybe so.
So began an alliance, a friendship perhaps, an unjudgemental ear when needed, but definitly one who kept her confidances and her safety.....

All I want is to hold you forever,
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And Im thankful every day
for the gift...

The fire had leveled the camp. Such a distaster was so unexpected that in the aftermath, the whole camp seemed to be in a state of shock. Everyone put their energies into searching for wounded survivors, and for those that were not so fortunate to have made it out of their wagons in time. It was a time where raw emotion flowed, and no one tried to hide it. Such devastation was hard to look upon and it wasn't limited to the camp..many bosk and kaiila fell victim and their owners felt the losses for thier beasts as intensely as they did for their family and friends.
It was during this time that everyone set aside any differences and worked side by side, giving all to those that needed them the most. Tribe Above All....these words never rang truer than they did during this time of grief and loss.
For the healers it was a busy and often emotional time as they worked to save the many that were brought to their healing wagons. So many had fallen victim, and their agony was difficult to witness and just as difficult to treat. Many non-healers were called upon to assist and anyone that had a spare moment was put to work. Kaeli herself was offered a helping hand by none other than the young Spex, Mezoo. This surprised the healer in that they had had many differences of opinion in the past, and their friendship up to this point, had been tentative at best. With the past forgotten, the two were able to work side by side amicably, and Kaeli found her quick to catch on to what she needed. After one long day of tending to the wounded, Kaeli found herself at the main fires with the younger woman, taking a break and drinking a much needed mug of blackwine. It was during this time that their talk turned to mates and she asked Kaeli how she dealt with a mate who was absent for long stretches of time tending to the duties that were required of him. Kaeli had heard whispers in camp that the ubar and spex were no longer courting, but she was not prepared for confirmation to come from the young woman herself, and was equally surprised when the younger woman poured forth her heart on the matter. It wasn't beyond Kaeli's ability to understand the reasons, and she tried to comfort the spex the best she could. She gave the woman credit for seeing beyond what her heart felt, to the reality of what her future would hold, and realizing it would never be enough. She was a different breed from the Spex and Kaeli wondered if perhaps her being raised without a family had given her an altered perspective on relationships and love. Kaeli's love for her mate was intense and fierce, but not premised on a need for him to be at her side constantly. She had learned from her experience as Ubara of the Kataii, that Ubars bore the weight of the camps needs and that tribe before all became more than mere words. It was perhaps fortunate for her to have had these experiences because it gave her insight and greater understanding and patience for those times her mate had to be absent. Still there was more to it and Kaeli sat at her fire later pondering how to put into words how she felt. Her mate was her sky..he was all that she needed, and her love for him was deep and unfaltering. When he was with her, she felt it was a gift and when he was not..she missed him terribly, but had the children as constant reminder of how much she truly loved him. Theirs was a solid coupling, and she never was in doubt how he felt about her-he told her. As their children grew, she saw more of him in them than she did herself. Both had his exquisite green eyes, his jet black hair and the stubborness and will he possessed. Kus was growing fast and she could see he would have his fathers build and strength. He was quick to flash his fathers smile and already was mimicking his fathers walk and laugh. He stubbornly refused to play with the toy hammer she provided him and took to dragging around a cast off one that his father had used in the forge. It was far too heavy for him to wield properly but he took it with him everywhere and worked at hefting it and she was proud. Her daugher was definitly his daughter, and Kaeli didn't mind that she was more attached to him than herself. She was dainty, but had his will and fearlessness. She learned early on how to defend herself against her sibling and nephew and made sure they lived in fear of her reprisals. She had his quick sense of humor and his smile, and it make her mother proud. With these two around she was never truly apart from Jai because they were pieces of him and she loved them with the same fierceness. She was never truly without her mate, and he was always in her thoughts when he wasn't in her furs...

Whether or not others understood her reasons, Kaeli had chosen not to accept Ayguili's offer of a temporary reprieve from the chain. It wasn't that she hadn't appreciated the offer being extended - she had. She had wanted to go, but it wasn't her that had set the punishment - it was him, and the only way she could accept release was to have him say it was over. In giving her the choice to go the the ceremony, then return and put the chain back on, he had invoked the one thing Kaeli believed should always be honored. A promise. In accepting his offer, she would be promising that she would return and replace the chain. She wasn't sure she was up to voluntarily giving up her freedom after even a brief time, and if she didn't think she could do it..she would not make a promise that bound her to it. If she could not promise him that she would willingly return and have the chains put back on, and if she had accepted his offer, she would have had to. She had never made a promise unless she was sure she could keep it, and she had never broken one, once she had made it. She was well aware of her own strengths and weaknesses, and it was because of this that she had chosen to remain where she was.
All in all she had accepted the punishment with as much good nature as she was able to muster. She kept busy, mending clothes, finishing the pictures of herbs she had been making, and even helping the slaves who spent their day at the cooking fires. She really didn't mind, and it gave her time to think of things other than the chain and her missing mate.
She didn't want to have to think on how long Jai had been gone, but she did. He'd been away for over 5 hands. Longer than she'd ever known him to be gone. This worried her a great deal, but she kept it to herself, and didn't say anything about it to the ubar. When he asked how she was holding up, she told him what she thought he wanted to hear and left it at that. She voiced her fears to no one, not even those she considered close to her. She found her strength in Tarra and Cana who like herself had lost mates, and she found that inner strenth that seemed to come to her when life gave her a burden she didn't think she could carry. She had told her daughter not to worry, that Jai would return, but saying the words did little to convince herself that it was true. She went through the motions of day to day with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, and tried to keep up the appearance of the Kaeli most of them knew. She was thankful that her two youngest children were old enough to wean, and she transitioned them from milk to food as her own appetite failed and she feared they were not getting enough to sustain them. She played with them throughout the day, keeping any sign of worry from them so that they would not sense any distress. She continued to take in baskets of mending to keep her hands busy, and any other chores that could be done to keep her mind busy. Occasionally she wondered how long she would continue to be chained should Jai not show up, but this thought she pushed to the back of her mind as being one selfish in nature and not one she needed to be thinking about. She didn't like to think of him not returning. That was simply not going to happen. He was her sky and if his light faded, so would her own. She waited patiently, and when she couldn't sleep she watched the main trail that led into the camp, as though by watching and wishing, she could make him appear.....

Last night had been interesting..very interesting. It had surprised Kaeli that Sef had taken things spoke of casually at the fires and used them in the way he had last night. The night before several of the women had just chuckled and made wagers based on the talk, and were not the least suspicious when he had asked them more about it. They had answered from what they had seen and shrugged it off as a warriors interest in a woman. None of them had thought anymore about it and had moved on to talking of things that were specific to them, having no idea that what they had said would cause such a furor. So, when the ubar and commander brought the woman to the fires, Kaeli had no clue what was going to happen. It had shocked her as it shocked the others. And she secretly wondered if Sef had drank some spoiled paga, or been out on patrol too long. It wasn't until She started to watch his body language and really listened to what he was saying, that his intentions started to become clear to her. She knew from experience with Sef, that when he was serious about something, his demeanor changed from the easy going warrior, to a rigid one, who focused exclusively on the matter at hand and nothing else. He was not acting that way this night and it was this lack of seriousness that had alerted her that something was just not right. She had to think back on her talk with him and that brought her the answer. When he had inquired into why Sorrel was chained, Kaeli had told him. She had explained the event with as much detail as she could, honing in on what the Ubar had said and how others in the camp had acted. Sef had been less upset at what the Ubar had done, accepting it for what it was. He had however been more upset that mere prospects had been allowed to sling accusations about her daughter around the fire, like a bitter dweller women at a collaring. No one had even tried to still their tongues so that those actually involved could talk. It was something that never would have been allowed to happen in the past, and showed a serious lack of decorum in the women involved. Kaeli had brushed it off as some sort of jealousy and told her daughter not to mind it, but it apparently had bothered Sef. So much so that he had devised a way to made his displeasure of the affair known, leaving Kaeli in the dark about it. When the chaos started, she could only sit back and watch, unaware of what he was doing. It took her a long time to see through it all to the real reason he had chosen to take the path he had. It was not to have the woman chained at all. It was to teach her a lesson that she was not likely to forget. Words said without regard to truth can kill. The prospect had been the one with the biggest mouth that night, letting her accusations spill forth in a spiteful fashion, and she had done it just to see an innocent woman suffer. Kaeli had passed her words off as the rantings of an ignorant woman, one who had not learned to speak wisely and only of things she actually knew about. But Sef on the other hand was less willing to let it pass and obviously chose to teach her a lesson - and Kaeli had to admit, it was most effective. She wasn't amused that she had been drug into it unwittingly, nor was she happy that Yamka had either. Neither one of them had said anything that came close to an accusation, nor had anything they said been gossip. What they said was truth, and they were actually debating whether it was something that they could use to wager on. But Sef had taken their casual talk and twisted it around - just as the woman had taken things spoke of at the fires and twisted them around to use as a means of inflicting injury, and possibly preventing her daughter from being allowed to prospect. Kaeli had always prescribed to the idea that it was better to stay silent and listen, than it was to chatter constantly and have people wonder at your intelligence. The night the ubar met her daughter, the woman had thrown out these untruths to anyone that had half a mind to listen, and she cared nothing at all about how they would affect Sorrel. Well last night Sef had given her a taste of her own medicine. A very well orchestrated taste of her own medicine. Kaeli had to wonder if the woman would see the messege behind it and learn something from it. Kaeli kind of doubted it, but there was always a glimmer of hope that she may take it and think on it, and perhaps remember it and learn the lessons that she could from it.

Kaeli had been proud of her daughter Sorrel ,who took her place at the wheel to be chained, with her back straight, and her resolve strong - she hadn't cried, or wimpered. Sorrel had not begged to know why she was being punished, she had accepted it and sat beside her mother without letting anyone know what fears she might have in her heart. She had shown her mother that she had listened, and she had learned all those times when Kaeli had told her that a Plains woman takes what comes with strength. They were proud, they were strong, and they do not crumple, wimper or cry, they do not complain, they do not show weakness at the first sign of adversity. They are as strong as the grasses that fed the bosk, they bend when they have to, but they do not break under the strain of the many feet that will walk over them. Yes she was proud, and even prouder when her daughter found her tongue and spoke the words the Ubar wanted her to speak. During her time as Ubarra of the Kataii, she had found herself a bridge between two camps and two peoples. She had always fought hard to bring them together because she was a part of both and shared the blood of each. She was proud of her people. She had wanted her children to take their place with pride, but it had never been something she forced on them. She had allowed them to travel to different places, to meet different people, and to learn different things..not because she thought her own people were backwards or ignorant. Only because she felt that if they saw those things and still chose to return to the plains - they would return with the conviction that this was the place they wanted to be..and that they would stay here and take their place among the tribe without any hesitation, and not because it was what their mother wanted. In sending them away, Kaeli had made no concessions...she had ordered that they live in wagons, outside the walls of cities, and that their exposure to the dwellers behind the walls be very short and only for the purpose of educating them. Kaeli wasn't stupid. She knew that the draw of the cities took many from the plains, and in letting her children see these things while they were growing, she felt sure they would take from it what they could and still want to come home to the land of their birth. It was a calculated risk, but one she had been willing to make. And, they had both proved her right. After seeing it all, they both had come back to the land of they felt the most at home on. And what made her the proudest was that they had come home on their own. The only thing she herself had done was tell her daughter to wait until the tribe had finally made it to the south camp before she make her own journey to meet up with them. If there ever was a proud mother, it had to be Kaeli. She had her family together again and her two first born were following the path their father would have wanted, and she herself had prayed they would want as well..Now, she finally felt it was home....

Ah, some friendly faces. Sef had returned and when he found out how the young woman he considered his neice had been chained, he was not the least amused and told Kaeli he would find out why she was being treated in such a harsh manner. It was common knowledge that those returning to the tribe to prospect had a tough path to walk, but never had either of them seen one chained - especially one that had blood family residing at the 1st fires. Nor had he ever heard of one being threatened with death if they could not come up with a good enough reason..It was shameful. She had already come to the conclusion that a select few prospects were granted more priveleges than others, as well as being under a blanket of protection not given others, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Kaeli didn't care one way or the other..as far as she was concerned the damage was done and there was no forgetting the slight that been visited on her offspring. That certain people had chosen to act like back-biting sleen when they had the warriors to shield them from the consequences, was no shock to Kaeli either..she had seen it before, and her experiences had always been that their actions would eventually come back to bite them in the ass. All she had to do was watch and wait, it was only a matter of time. If payback was indeed a bitch - Then Kaeli was about to become the queen of bitches....

Up until this day she had always felt there were at least two warriors in the camp that she could trust, that would act with fairness, and that would consider the points of an issue before jumping to a conclusion based on hearsay. Now it seemed, she was down to just one, and the loss of the other was a pain she would bear in silence. That she had done something that disappointed him, had caused her to feel disappointed in herself and she had accepted the punishment given without complaint knowing that she should have been more careful - more aware of the limits that he had imposed, and why he had imposed them. She had accepted her fate even though she had felt at the time, that there was more to his anger than just the deed she had done unintentionally. Something unspoken that she could not put her finger on..At least until tonight. It wasn't so much how he had treated her daughter at the fires...She knew that there would be no warm welcome from the others of the camp..it was to be expected. She knew that they would drill Sorrel, and poke at her and insinuate that she would never have a place among the tribe. She could tolerate that. She could even tolerate him calling her a dweller and a stranger. She had kept her silence for the most part while it was happening. She had only spoken when asked a question directly, and kept her mouth shut even while he had said all the hurtful things that could possibly come to his mind to her daughter. During it all she felt there had to be something more than just disappointment in her failing to remember to stay inside the herds, that fueled the barrage and it wasn't till he brought up the talk she had had at the fire with a certain prospect that the answer revealed itself. It was the prospect. He had come right out and said the woman thought Kaeli didn't like her, and Kaeli couldn't understand what she had done to give the woman that impression. She treated her just like all the other prospects in the camp, giving her no more and no less attention, and acting around her just as she acted around the others. In terms of how Kaeli treated her, she would have thought the woman would have been relieved that Kaeli didn't come at her with a barrage of questions about why she thought she should be allowed at the fires, and what she thought she had to offer the tribe. Kaeli rarely did this, and in the only two conversations she had ever had with the woman, she had offered up varied opinions to be taken for whatever value the woman chose to find in them. Whether she liked or disliked what ideas Kaeli put forth, was to Kaeli , a moot point. If she didn't want to consider them she didn't have to - they were just ideas. Kaeli had gone to the main fire to work, not to teach the woman anything, and she had not gone out of her way to start the conversation in the first place. As far as whether she liked or disliked the woman..well she hadn't given it much thought..She treated the woman just as she treated the other prospects and it came to Kaeli that this might be more the problem than anything she had said in a conversation. She treated her like a prospect. And like she did with the other prospects, she greeted her like one. This explanation came to her like a lightening bolt. It made more sense than anything else Kaeli could come up with as to why the woman thought Kaeli didn't like her. Prospects were normally proud of being granted the chance to earn their place. They didn't mind being what they were, or being called prospect. This one apparently didn't like it. There had been talk, talk that Kaeli had largely ignored. But, taking everything she had heard, and everything that was happening now, she had to believe that it all was connected. Now that she had satisfactorily put things into a perspective she could understand, she let that go to think on what the next couple days were going to bring. The next day was going to bring some answers. If Sorrel was allowed to take her place as a prospect all would end well and Kaeli would go on with her life and just make sure that she kept herself away from the main fires when the woman was there. That was easy enough to do - she had her own fire to sit by and she could still see those people that she wanted to see without even having to go near the central fire. But, if Sorrel ended up dead or collared as a result of the things that were brought out tonight, that had nothing to do with her, Kaeli would not be able to live with herself, or trust the people that were supposed to be her family and this was an unsettling thought at the very least. All in all this day had had only one shining point to it and that was being able to see her daughter for what could very well be the last time. She had lost a friend that she had trusted almost as much as her mate, someone she thought of as a brother, and even if her daughter was allowed to prospect, Kaeli would never have the same trust for the man again and it was a sad thought. He hadn't come to her privately to speak about her talks with the woman, he had already made up his mind and plotted his course. Kaeli knew that it had never occurred to him to question what possibly reason Kaeli would have to dislike the prospect. He had chosen who he wanted to believe and burned a bridge because of it. She wished her mate was here to help her understand all of this, and she was certain that had he been, things would have been handled much differently. The thought that he may never get to meet the daughter he had swore to raise as his own was deeply depressing to Kaeli. When reshaka brought out the twins to nurse Kaeli held them for a while and had her take them back. She was too upset to want to spend any time with them and she didn't want them to pick up on her distress. After she made sure that Sorrel was covered and sleeping, she sat for a long time just looking at the night, then she would get up and pace.